What are you going to do?
The question is what do you want. I know what I want very clearly. I love you with all my heart but I can never get you to deal with my past. I despise my past, but I don't need to show you that I do. I do not need to punish myself everyday of my life for my past mistakes, nor it'll be good for me to love someone so much and to have him emotionally abuse me with untrue assumptions and constantly berates me of my past mistakes and let me know that I am worthless and that he is revoltingly disgusted of me. It has always been your call: to move forward or to call it quits. The question is what are you going to do.

I am sorry I can't give you the best of both worlds. I am sorry I can't be perfect and a clean slate and a person who fits perfectly your list of criteria of an ideal girlfriend. All I can do is to give you my whole heart to love you and to love you completely for who you are, and to cherish and treasure you, and be grateful to have you in my life; but it seems what I am giving will never outweigh my past.

I don't know what I can do because I can't give you what you want. If I make you feel sick and disgusted of me and that you hate me so much, then what can I do? The question is what are you going to do? To move forward with me or to find that perfect person who can give u the best of both worlds?

Do you even love me? Do you ever love me? Or was it that you are happy with me, and that happiness clouded your judgement? Do you know you are hurting me a lot?