Personal Thoughts
At some point of each and every relationship, couples do meet a breaking point.
I guess this is another breaking point of my relationship with C before the three-year mark.

It gives me the creeps thinking about us at this point of time:
When we are miles apart;
When we have not seen each other for about 2 months;

When there is a serious lack of communication;

When both of us have each changed heaps over time;

When we have argued so much;
When we have hurt each other so much;
When things did not end on good terms before he leaves for his current placement
Things are just too unpredictable.
I just don't know what to expect.

Thinking about us gives me an incredible amount of stress to the extent that I feel like throwing up.

I don't know what more to do.
I don't know what I can say.
I don't know what I am not supposed to say.
I don't know what I am not supposed to ask.
I don't know what statements I am not supposed to make.
I don't know when he will throw his temper on me.
I don't know how to patch things up when things have gone so bad.

I don't know how to mend the many damages we have done to our relationship over the months.

Till we meet, I hope things will reside as it is.

Furniture Shopping
I have been furniture shopping with my mum pretty frequently recently, and last Friday, my mother and I went to Mega Mall for a 'home & living' exhibition. Due to the approaching festival of the Chinese New Year, there were plenty of bright red decorations around the mall, and there was a greater sense of festivity when there were many well-decorated temporary booths selling Chinese goodies. Anyway, one of the temporary booths which sell items for better 'feng shui' offers fortune-telling service. Amused, my mother and I approached the booth, squeezed through the crowd, only to find an elderly Chinese man talking to a middle-aged Chinese woman. By merely looking at her writing of her full Chinese name, the man could tell that she is a good mother and a good wife; could inform her when would be a good time in the year to invest and when not to; and could inform her when her health will be at risk et cetera. Well, one would think that it is amazing if his predictions were right. However, no matter how close to reality his predictions are, I would think it is just too scary to be sitting in the midst of many passerby, in front of the fortune teller (who might know all your hidden secrets), and for him to announce your 'fortune' to the crowd. I must confess that for a 19 year old girl like myself, I have many skeletons in my closet, and for this elderly man to ruin my reputation and embarrass me in front of a big crowd is definitely a big no-no. It is just a little too scary. While ignorance is not always bliss, in this sense, I would think it is. I would rather not know when I will die for instance. =P