On revamping my daily timetable...

As much as I want to be the queen of perfectionist, having a slight obsessive compulsive disorder of having to keep up to all errands and tasks at hand, I have instead become the queen of procrastination and am lacking much discipline. I am falling behind schedule and it is quite disappointing, really.

It's time to reassess my daily timetable and squeeze in as much as possible in a day to complete as many tasks as possible. The weather change is not helping. I am still day dreaming of sunny spring days and its warmth. Last week's weather was cruel. It was cold and bitter. But with the last few days, Melbourne had managed to surprise me with its beautiful sunshine and comfortable warmth.

As of the start of autumn, my gym had revamped the group exercise timetable and I am not a fan of the new timetable at all. Yucks yucks! They have removed a few of my favourite Body Attack classes, most of which are suitable to my time arrangement. I had sought to resolve the problem by attending gym classes in the wee hours in the morning i.e. start working out at 6.30am in the morning, and that means bouncing, sweating and jumping during sunrise while many people are sound asleep in their warm beds. The thought of the cold in the morning had certainly deterred me from going to the gym early in the morning, and that said, bed time will be 10pm to wake up at 6.00am - 8 hours sleep they say. Indeed, I have failed terribly with that attempt. Come to think of it, I used to wake up at about 6.30am every morning in high school to make it to school before 8.30am. It takes me about 40 minutes to get to school by train and a short walk up the hill and in the cold during winter, and I did that all through my 2 years of senior school education! Certainly, it can be done.

Back to the heart of the matter, I have yet to revamp my timetable. Currently with exercising, I'll be dropped off at the gym after seeing J most week nights and go back to old school running on the treadmill. The upside is I'll be watching Master Chef while exercising. One may think that it is a television program of food porn (or so I heard on the radio this evening). Naturally one would raise an eyebrow: watching Master Chef where the contestants were baking deliciously rich and moist Black Forest Cakes with chocolate ganache and oozing chocolate hazelnut praline mousse while running on the treadmill? Even J commented on the fact the girl who was running next to me (watching Master Chef too but switched channels soon after), might get herself a generous helping of dinner after the work out.

Fortunately, that does not apply to me. I don't have an urge to help myself with chocolates, desserts or a generous helping of dinner after my 10km run. I guess this is also due to the fact that I have been overindulging the past few days *cringe* *sobs*. I am glad to say that Master Chef is a TV show that I draw immense inspiration from to pursue my food dreams. And yes, I do have a food dream like the many contestants on the TV show. In terms of skills, techniques, knowledge etcetera, let's just say I have a looooonnnnnggggg way to go.

That said, J is going to the countryside for half a day with his boss tomorrow. The down side is I won't be seeing my darling :( but the upside is I'll be hitting the gym early and get myself into group exercises classes! :) Please keep your fingers crossed for me that the weather (which was forecast to be windy and rainy) will not deter me from going to the gym!

It'll be Ki-Max, Rpm followed by Body Balance. I hope I'll be completely knackered by the end of the gym session and hit the sack early!

On budgeting...

Let's think of ways to go on a date with minimal amount of spending. I think J and I have been doing that for the past 6 months, and I have requested for it even during times when he had wanted to lavish and pamper me with niceties. I should learn to re-quote him more on "what's yours is mine". *Smiles* I know, he's such a sweetie!

This Saturday, we are thinking of picnicking after his soccer match because it's going to be sunny. That said, 18 degrees might be too cold for me. Either way, I know I will have a swelling good time with my darling :]

On something off-topic

I notice it'll seem a little dry without any visuals to assist one's reading. It's too late in the night for me to search high and low for a suitable and beautiful picture to go with this post. It's way past my bed time. So I am sharing this: a photo of J and I during his graduation in polaroid form :]

♥ ♥ ♥

P/s: not liking the fat face *cringe*

I really should be studying Evidence law at the moment and intensely concentrating on the exclusionary provisions of rules upon rules, but blog reading never fail to capture my attention, suck me into a whirlpool of endless reading because it transports me to a magical world of fantasy and imagination.

Though what was black and white on the screen could just be a report of an ordinary, mundane event of a day and one's perception thereafter.

There is magic in the author's articulation and expression and the following paragraphs are what I have failed to articulate to myself countless of times and she could be so eloquent in her words to express what I have exactly felt. To remind myself of these paragraphs, I shall share them on my blog ♥

"I’m an intelligent woman. I know that exercising regularly and eating well is what I need to do. But no matter how much I exercise, or how well I eat, I need to look deeper, because what I weigh on the scales right now is really a reflection of how I feel about myself and my sub conscious beliefs.

It seems when good things start to happen in my life, I sub consciously push the self destruct button, and I am powerless to stop it. No matter what I tell myself, I can’t stop engaging in self destructive behaviours. I hit brick walls within myself, and no matter how hard I try to consciously push through them, I find myself procrastinating, drinking too much and eating crap. Then I resolve to start another health kick, and the whole crazy cycle starts again.

So, the question is, how do I unlock the parts of me that are holding me back from having what I want in life? How do I unstack those bricks, one by one? Because I want to move towards a different life. A life where I can not only fit into my jeans, but a life of wealth. A life of happiness. A life of greater ease. Because I deserve it.

It’s not that I’m not happy, because I am. I have many wonderful things in my life, but, I am reaching for something more. I am trying to reprogram myself, but when I change the channel, all I get is the test pattern or re-runs of Mash. I’m looking for a book deal, my own apartment, but the TV guide says at 7:00pm I’m in for struggle, followed by not being able to pay my bills at 8:00pm.

It’s obvious that I need to have a heart-to-heart with my sub conscious. I need to sit it down and say listen here, you’ve been telling me my whole life that I’m not worthy, but I’m onto you. I’m sick of you holding me back and selling me short. You’re nothing but a big fat liar and you should be worried, really worried, when I tell you that your days are numbered, because I’m bringing in reinforcements.

I’ve spent enough time listening to what you’ve got to say, and quite frankly I’ve had enough. I’ve spent hours in counselling with you, trying to be reasonable and understanding, listening to you list all the reasons I do the things I do, why I attract certain people in my life and yada, yada, yada.

Now, with the help of a hypnotherapist, I’m going to be calling the shots from now on. So pack your bags and clear out. I’m going to have the life I want. The life I deserve. And I’m going to look god damn fabulous in my skinny jeans whilst I’m at. Because I can."