MEREDITH: "Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me."

- Meredith Grey from Grey's Anatomy



Love relationships are often messy and complicated.
And with the muddle, often it comes with the hurt.

It's funny that when you know you hate that certain someone for hurting you so much, you strangely push that past, and beg to be picked, chose and loved.
And is that because you really do love that certain someone?
Or it is merely because you need some self-confirmations of your beauty, your charm and your existence?

It's strange that one could go down to the extent of begging when they have been treated so badly:
Being compared to,
Being suddenly abandoned because of the presence of another perhaps more 'superior' being;

And all I can say is that, the thoughts of all those happy memories shattered into pieces & the great promises and great hopes one holds for the future of the relationship, all broken in just a blink of an eye, were the reasons.

And at that very moment, we were so blinded by all these thoughts.
We were so much tortured by the hurt and the pain.
And we didn't stop on our tracks and think.

Until we are picked and chose, will everything be still the same?
Are we going to doubt the love in the future, and will our trust still stand on firm grounds?
And will you then wander; was all the begging worth it all?
And why didn't I just move along back then?
Why? Why to the extent of begging?

MEREDITH: "Hey."
DEREK: "Hey. You almost died today."

MEREDITH: "Yeah, I almost died today."
[Pause]
MEREDITH: "I can't, I can't remember our last kiss. All I could think about was 'I'm going to die today and I can't remember our last kiss. Which is pathetic but the last time we were together and happy... I want to be able remember that. And I can't, Derek. I can't remember."

DEREK: "I'm glad you didn't die today." 
[pause]
DEREK: "It was a Thursday morning, you were wearing that ratty little Dartmouth t-shirt you look so good in. The one with the hole at the back of the neck. You'd just washed you hair and smelled like some kind of... flower. I was running late for surgery, you said you were going to see me later, and you lean to me, put your hand on my chest and you kissed me. Soft. It was quick. Kind of like a habit. You know, like we'd do it everyday for the rest of our lives. Then you went back reading the newspaper and I went to work. That was the last time we kissed."

- Meredith Grey & Derek Shepherd from Grey's Anatomy

I guess it's because we didn't see it coming.
I guess it's because the hurt was unbearable.
And, I guess it's because we just weren't ready to stand on our very own two feet again.

MIRANDA: [steps in front of Derek] "No. Turn around and walk away."
DEREK: "From what?"

MIRANDA: "From my intern!"
DEREK: "No, I wasn't going-"

MIRANDA: "Yes you were. Come on. You can't do this. You don't have the right. Not anymore."
DEREK: "I just want to find out if she's okay."

MIRANDA: "She's not. She's a human traffic accident, and everybody's slowing down to look at the wreckage. She's doing the best she can with what she has left, and I know you can't see this, 'cause you're in it, but you can't help her now! You'll only make it worse. So walk away. Go!"

- Miranda Bailey & Derek Shepherd from Grey's Anatomy