30 Oct 2006

I believe I do believe that my desire to write is a gift from God.

Out from the examination room, my teacher quoted:

‘You should get some rest before the next one comes, perhaps a movie?’

Yet, I went to the library, sat in front of the computer, and in my own sweet time, desiring to write an entry for my blog. Perhaps, this is my way of relaxation.

I was deprived of ideas, when a blank Microsoft Word page appears on the screen this afternoon, apparently after two exams.

Maybe, the randomness in me shall adorn my page, of the sweet-smelling aroma of coffee that constantly reminds me of freshly baked croissants.

For inspirations, I decided to run through the files I have got in my pen drive. I came across an article, which I have picked up on ages ago.

It was an interesting interview of former supermodel Kim Alexis.

One would expect the glamour and the fame, yet, it was something more captivating, and it was something that took my breath away.

It has successfully inspired me, with its very own unique way.

Kim dominated the modelling industry in the '80s.

She's considered one of the most beautiful women in the world and she's certainly been one of the most photographed.

Kim has graced more than 500 magazine covers,

Served as a spokesperson,

Appeared on several TV shows and movies,

Worked as a fashion editor,

And hosted several TV shows.

To a casual observer, Kim, 39 this month, appears to have it all:

An exciting career,

A close-knit family,

A beautiful face,

And a thin, healthy-looking 5'10" body.

Despite the glamour and fame of her international modeling career, her story revealed the world that took a toll on her self-esteem and her relationships.

Through years of her amazing career, the realisation of the dark side of modelling had allowed her to learn about beauty, self-esteem, and ‘spiritual’ fitness.

The exclusive interview has absolutely inspired me and really plays a role of reinforcement.

Born in an epic

Eleena quoted ‘born in an epic’ out of Ransomed Heart, during Women’s Conference. It hit straight to my heart.

We are born in an epic, and each of us has a crucial role to play, for we have a purpose of life and we are to live in this epic with the embrace of true beauty, real intimacy and a real adventure.

I believe each of us created unique, each of us possesses our own special flaws, therefore each of us live in our very own special epic, in our very own way discover the path to God.

The beautiful seasons of life that paints the beautiful portrait of

Winter, autumn, summer, spring,

Is where we constantly seek intimacy with Him,

To discover our true identities and thereby understand our destiny

And know our true purpose in life.

The season of bareness, in our epic of life, are battles against our flaws or even battles to accept our flaws.

It is a time when we are to make the right decision,

Whether to continue tangent the path He has set for us,

Or to turn around and go back to Him.

It is a time, when we are to be humble to listen to Him.

In our very own epic, we are battling with our own flaws, struggling with our own issues,

Whether it is weight, body image, self-esteem, insecurities, appearance, resists temptations or to stay righteous,

The ignorance of His call,

Will only suck us into the whir pool of constant battles,

That exhausts our souls,

That consumes our inner hearts until we are hollow.

We will continually be manipulated by the world system,

That makes us go round and round in circles,

Until we come to God, to have a relationship with Him,

To place Him above of all things.

We are constantly challenged until we find our true purpose in Him.

So what story do you want to live in?

In the constant bareness, in the cold chill winter,

Or the exuberant summer?

Kim is living in her beautifully painted epic, even though there were times of darkness, when she was lost, she came back to Him through His amazing work.

Throughout her modeling career, worldly judgments and comment about the way she looked, punched holes in her self-esteem, even when she was absolutely fit and beautiful.

Her insecurity and vulnerability were accumulated through constant pressures to look and to dress a certain way.

Those are the expectations of the world, but are those what God wants for her?

Women vs. Beauty

There’s a part of every woman that wants to dress up, to be appreciated, and to be treated to a date every once in a while.

A lot of people think beauty is a free ticket to happiness, but it's not. It's not a tool used for leverage. It's just a part of a person’s life, but not the total.

Definition of beauty is what God's definition is.

It is the attitude of the heart and that’s how He judges us.

True beauty is that sparkle in the eye, the sparkle of the knowledge of Christ.

Obviously what the world sees is the outer surface, our facade, and that’s going to become dust some day.

Eternal beauty is the charm of the inner self that shines through the surface.

Mature inside out and that’s the beauty in every single individual.

Escape reality

A whole new start. That’s what I have always desired. Why is it so? Yes, it’s all because of regrets. It’s tough to deal with them, because we can’t change the past.

Kim’s advice to her son:

"Listen, you've got a clean slate. You don't have skeletons in your closet.

Your life can stay clean and close to God, or you can go off and live to regret it. It's your choice."

It’s all about the right choice. Totally agreeing.

The accumulation of skeletons in the closet will eventually starts to eat in the soul.

The guilt weighing down each and every step,

The consequences suffocating.

Is this why we desire privacy?

For these skeletons will never be revealed,

But slowly turns to dust?

To run away from responsibilities of shameful sins?

But God knows it all, and he would unravel in his own good time,

It’s all our choice.

Make decisions to the most biblical grounds,

Make them out of righteousness,

And act out of his glory.

Kim:

There are always little things from which you have to pull yourself back, evaluate, and say, "Ooh, no." It's a constant battle.

Glamour Isn't Reality

I guess this is why people have been trying to escape reality,

To be in cloud nine just for the moment,

To walk down the aisle, looking absolutely fabulous,

Getting all the attention, cameras flashing, spotlights shining,

Wow, glamour!

Oh, what an indulgence to dream!

Be a voice, not an echo

This was quoted by a youth pastor during my year 12 leavers’ service recently.

It was something that strongly imprints in my mind, but I took no time to jot it down.

My reflection on the interview has reinforced this quote. It just clicks when I read the article.

So, be a voice, not an echo. What does it truly mean?

A voice in this context resembles a strong source of good influence.

An echo is merely a reflection of sound waves from a surface, often distorted.

I believe I make my voice is visible through my writings. They are

Voices made visible,

Voices which are imprinted black and white,

Voices which can be referred from time to time,

Voices to reflect on after a period of time,

Voices to be read, watching my chronological spiritual growth.

Kim

Simply model a Christian life, speak a thousand words.

It's the little daily examples of what we do that make an impact, and its "quiet time" with God that draw us closer to Him.

I want to leave this world better than I found it.

I would love to be remembered for many things I do in life.

Being a good mother who brought up great children,

Be remembered for more than my looks,

But being defined by what I do, say, believe, exemplify.

I want people to see what's on the inside.

Back to beauty

Kim:

In Bella Italia, everything is certainly beautiful:

beautiful people, fashion, architecture, nature, food, wine, even the window displays are beautiful.

But what is beauty?

It is easy to get caught up in the superficiality of beauty.

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and in the modern era we have assumed it is only way kind of eye.

The eye of fashion, make up, body beautiful and everyone looking and appearing in the same way.

Fashion can help to express oneself but it can also act as a mask.

The mask of beauty hides an insecure society.

Every society has its mask but what are we hiding from? Ourselves or the outside world?

If you focus too much on the outside, what happens to the inner?

And is it true that once you find the beauty within, it shows on the outer?

What does this beauty look like?

It’s not so much a look but a feeling.

You see it when friends are connecting and laughing with one another, that’s beautiful.

You see it when two old toothless men are sitting at a bench playing cards in the park. That’s beautiful.

You can see beauty everywhere. You just have to look further than the mask.

“A thing of beauty is a joy forever”

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.”

I have realised life is so precious yet so frail and fragile.

It is meant for us to live with a greater purpose.

A life to bless and influence others,

A life to make the world a better place,

A life to sparkle and shine from the inside out!

3 Nov 2006