hope.faith.love

I am not done with the spring cleaning and I somewhat lack the idea of how to undergo a renovation. So, I tangent off doing something else and came across this which cracks me up.



To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chicly Italian restaurant.
After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and ordered.
"We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said.
"Sorry, sir," said the waiter. "That's the owner."

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Then I came across this.



An American cowboy went to a restaurant with his Singaporean girl. Signalling to the waiter, he said, "I want a beer for myself," and pointing to his girl, "an orange juice for the DONKEY."
Reading the menu, he said "As for appetiser I want chicken soup and for the DONKEY a mushroom soup; a steak for me and a chicken chop for the DONKEY and lastly, for dessert, ice-cream for me and some fruits for the DONKEY!"

After ordering the meal, he excused himself and went to the gents. The appalled waiter couldn't control himself anymore and asked the lady, "Excuse me, miss, why does your boyfriend treat you like that and call you Donkey? Aren't you angry?" "Ya lor, He Hor always treat me like that wan, He Hor always so bad wan, He Hor got no respect for me, wan, He Hor......He Hor....He Hor...."

I cracked up like nuts! It's so funny!

Alright, I am off to do some serious business, just realised I wanted to do so much reading, and I should really use this time wisely to read and to write. =)

Okay. 49 days left. Counting and writing down. I have got a whole new entry waiting to be posted, when just then, I realised my blog needs spring cleaning and a good renovation. Right,

Time *Check
Computer *Check
Internet connection *Check
Today’s promotion: boredom *Check

Off I go. See you soon. =P

So. I am thinking in 50 days time, I will be waving good bye to my 18th year. A year I could never really come up with a conclusion. It wasn't the most brilliant year of my life, but I could never deny it has been a year I have grown much. It was a year when:

::problems came rolling down

::I was often placed on hot seats

::I was often asked to make decisions quick, while I am still stuck in dilemmas

::I was in life's crossroads several time

::I have come to courageously fight things off, but was later too exhausted and made a whole deal of mistakes

::I was given much opportunities to serve

::I had enjoyed fellowship

::I had unfortunately screw up my finals

So yes, hitting 19 shortly, the final year with a 'teen' at the back of my age; I'd better enjoy my last teen year and I'd better get the ball rolling and do something. As much as I had loved to be pampered, I have to accept the fact that I will no longer be spoon fed. There is a looonnggg to-do-list you have set for yourself, love. No more procrastination!

This final year is once in a life time, so super-duper precious and I am no way going to let it pass with a swish. I am going to enjoy it, I am going to embark my to-do-list, to nurture the seeds I have sown and I am definitely going to write about it! Hopefully, on my 20th birthday, I have come to conclude my 19th year a fulfilling and satisfying one.

I am so disappointed with my constant procrastination and the ample excuses I give myself. Thousand of thoughts had raced across my mind, of how I shall adorned this page with words, yet, I had abandoned my passion of writing for quite some time. I shall pick it up again. Yes, dear. Stop slacking.

This chapter of Captivating really speaks to me; really illustrate what I have always felt as a woman. It's the chapter I would like to share and to elaborate, with my own thoughts.

Unseen, Unsought and Uncertain

"I know I am not alone in this nagging sense of failing to measure up, a feeling of not being good enough as a woman. Every woman I've ever met feels it - something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough, and, I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy. The result is Shame, the universal companion of women. It haunts us nipping at our heels, feeding on our deepest fear that we will end up abandoned and alone."

Without any doubt, I am a woman has a great sense of failing to measure up, failing at what I do and failing at who I am.

Yes. I am not enough and too much at the same time. And spot on. It's exactly not pretty enough, not thin enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough and a long list of 'not-enough' to follow. Shame is not the only product. It seems low self esteem comes with it. We, women, have constantly struggle to strive for the balance, to be the 'just right' woman.

"After all, if we were better women - whatever that means - life wouldn't be so hard. Right? We wouldn't have so many struggles; there would be less sorrow in our hearts. Why is it so hard to create meaningful friendships and sustain them? Why do our days seem so unimportant, filled not with romance and adventure but with duties and demands? We feel unseen, even by those who are closest to us. We feel unsought - that no one has the passion or the courage to pursue us, to get past our messiness to find the woman deep inside. And we feel uncertain - uncertain what it even means to be a woman; uncertain what it truly means to be feminine; uncertain if we are or ever will be.

Aware of our deep failings, we pour contempt on our own hearts for wanting more. Oh, we long for intimacy and for adventure; we long to be the Beauty of some great story. But the desires set deep in our hearts seem like a luxury, granted only to those women who get their acts together. The message to the rest of us - whether from a driven culture or a driven church - is try harder."

Yes. That's what we women think. If we are thin enough, gracious enough, pretty enough, disciplined enough, intellectual enough, life would not be in such a mess. There will be fewer struggles, less sorrows and less regrets. Romance, intimacy and adventure will come knocking on our doors if we are 'just right'. For all the boring duties that filled our days, we blamed them on ourselves. And because we are not enough and too much, there is no one to pursue us, to love us. We are left alone, struggling to strive for the balance and to search the true meaning to be feminine, to earn the desires that are imprint in our hearts. And because these desires are so precious and they so difficult to earn, they are like a luxury and we have to constantly try harder, to satiate our desires.

I feel hollow again and I will always be, until I resume the average rhythm of life. At the end of the day, when the rhythm is supposed to slow down, I feel the hollowness again. At times like this, I daydream, I procrastinate, and I indulge.

In my mind, I start seeing beautiful pictures. A picture speaks a thousand words. Most pictures show resemblance of peace, simple and pure joy.

Beauty Tips

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, speak out the good in people
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.

Remember if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands,
one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes
because that is the doorway to her heart,
the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
the passion that she shows.

And...

The beauty of a woman with passing years only grows
-Audrey Hepburn-

Year 2007

Twisting the golden door knob of the magnificent wooden door, leaving behind the struts and frets of the previous life stage, but bringing along buckets full of memories, experience and lessons; I want to be prepared for the next chapter of life, to be able have a good head start, having the assets to strut elegantly into the coming phase of life, to journey with fulfillment, with faith, hope and love.

Year 2007, for me, will be a year where I would like to ground myself to the foundation, going back to the roots and to work from the inside out.

Resolution/To-do-list for the year

1.Ground to the Word of God, with devotions and prayers

Focus: Faith, Discipline, Wisdom, Serving

Discipline in the Word of God, for wisdom for oneself as well as to serve the others. With a good knowledge of the Word, make a difference and impact the others and the future generation. Serving God through Life*Expedition, Life*Kids or even through Street*Life, ground to the vision of the mission, stay close to precious dreams, and watch sown seeds grow in fertile soil.

I pray for discipline, for generosity to take time out to read and understand the Word, to listen to God and to have a good relationship with Him with quiet time and devotions.

Plan:

Be generous with giving time to God, for He will lighten your burden with strong faith

Understand what it really means to love, to honor

Catch up on basic and foundations, read bible stories, revise the 10 commandments

Start on devotional book for a good head start!

2.Healthy Living

Focus: General Health, Discipline, Passion, Self-Improvement

Back to the foundation of improving general health for a constant radiant appearance, healthy body, slim figure, healthy lifestyle and a general improvement of health problems, such as weight problem, hair loss, skin problem, dark eye circles.

Back to the basic of exfoliating, toning and moisturizing, as well as frequent use of health care products for lustrous radiant skin, silky hair.

Back to the basic of healthy eating with small food portions, healthy and fresh food. Discipline with a strong willpower of a healthy lifestyle, coordinated with sufficient exercise for each week for a head start.

Plan:

Exercise, running or jogging with a friend or with an ipod

Healthy eating by cooking fresh healthy food often

Pamper yourself with health care products

Fast once in a while

Practice Yoga and attend dancing lessons

3.Restore friendships and relationships

Focus: Strong Families, Strong Fellowship, Self-improvement

For past mistakes, ignorance and my impatient temperament, I shall strive to restore relationships, with sincerity and love. For the wounds I have inflicted upon hearts of my family members and friends, I have often silently regretted and blamed myself for my own clumsiness and downfall. I shall learn to give and bless sincerely in the most appropriate manner, thereby avoid conflicts and misunderstandings at all costs, definitely appreciate and cherish people who have been blessing me and never intend to hurt any other soul.

Plan:

Improve on the art of communication and listen to your heart.

4.Read, read and read

Focus: Wisdom, Self Improvement, Passion

Treasure the gift of the passion to read. The passion of reading devotional books, Christian living books as well as fictional ones that throws me into a state of awe. Read for self improvement, for creative writing, for the passion that needs to be constantly watered and fertilized on fertile ground.

Plan:

Read in Borders, Celebration bookstores, Flinders Street Christian books and borrow books

5.Write, write and blog

Focus: Passion, Self-improvement, Wisdom

Treasure the gift of the passion to write as I indulge into the world of fantasy, to picture a beautiful beyond description epic as well as to be a voice and not an echo. Write simply to express myself through this wonderful gift, which is the passion to write. Write for self improvement, to work on creative structured phrases as well as polishing my writing skills.

Plan:

Write when the mood strikes, when time allows.

6.Serve God

Focus: Passion, Serving

Continue the good work of serving God and generously pour out and bless those who are in need. Be a messenger and a servant of God, for his work of molding people’s heart and May the wounded and the hurt will come to know His mercy and His grace again. Through serving, I shall learn what it really means to give, to bless and to be generous with love and sincerity. Be voice and not an echo, and make a difference in the lives of the many people out there.

Plan:

Serve with a big heart, sincerity and love; out of passion to serve God and be His servant.

7.Work on the art of communication

Focus: Discipline, Strong Families

The art of communication is one of the key to success. I could not deny my impatient temperament as well as my loathed for being accused, thereby throwing my temper at others. Work on getting along and working on the art of communication for better relationships with family members, elders, relatives, course mates and friends.

Plan:

Retrieve anger during heated arguments, think, analyze and then answer the other party in the most appropriate manner.

8.Do my very best in academics studies

Focus: Discipline, Wisdom

For the course I am being offered, I shall receive it gladly, for God has made a way, a path for a greater purpose in my life. I shall strive and do my best and simply enjoy the wonderful experience of being a university student. For the sake of my hardworking parents to support my studies and living in Australia, I shall not disappoint them with terrible results, but I should lavish them with excellent ones (possibly all H1s which are quite impossible).

Plan:

Do my best, do constant revision, ask when help is needed and do related working experience for future assist in career.

9.Nurture the sown seeds and watch them grow slow but steadily

Focus: Passion, Wisdom, Faith

For dreams that have been dreamt and seeds that had been sown during year 2006, I shall work to see them grow, for I shall have faith that my seeds will become fruitful one day. Grab opportunities and learn to nurture and keep them growing for summer will come one day!

Plan:

Dream more specifically and work towards it.

10.Dancing lessons

Focus: Passion, Dream

Watching the gracefulness of ballerinas and most dancers, I have always wanted to be like them. The heated passion for ballroom dancing such as waltz, salsa, tango and the list goes on; has really urge me to attend dancing classes. While time is needed to be spared, a studio is needed to be found, money is needed to be spent and a willing dancing partner is needed to be miraculously found, I will continue to dream big and strive to attend dancing lessons.

Plan:

Work for money; find dancing studio and a dancing partner.

Year 2007 will not only be a year of strong families, strong fellowships, festivities and celebrations. For me, it will also be a year of simple faith. A year I want to constantly look to God for guidance, as I lay my life down for Him.